Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Grey Rebels
by Tridisout
Summary: Team Ember is deserted, Char is in love, Prince is seeking treasure in the wrong places, and Adiel holds a serious business meeting. All is not well in the land of Ambera. A parody of ScytheRider's Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Silver Resistance, set sometime around chapter seventy four. Be warned as there are some spoilers.


Once upon a time in a far off region somewhere…

This old Scyther named Scythe fought in a resistance group against a really evil guy called the Master. The Master was always cranky which was really bad for the Pokémon because he was in control of the region and being a cranky leader always caused someone to end up getting hurt. Anyways, the Scyther worked for a group of rebels that had a human that was turned into a Charmander in it that had this super cool power called something uncreative like The Talk or whatever and the two Pokémon were friends because the Scyther was a mentor to the Charmander. Their plan was to use the power somehow to stop the Master once and for all. SPOILERS! It didn't work out so well. Then they decided to go talk to some ghost behemoth or whatever that the Charmander was apparently friends with to ask it for advice. Well one day…

* * *

Char awoke that morning feeling like a ton of bricks was weighing upon his head. It had been one heck of a party the previous night; Saura dunked for apples, Ray got so drunk on punch he upchucked his entire lunch on Division Leader Alakazam (assigning Team Ember janitorial duties until further notice), and Otto spent the entire time making it painfully clear to everyone he did not understand the concept of 'fun'. The entire Gold Division spent a night in the woods celebrating the victory their soccer team had over the Master's, though they ignored the little detail of all the rebel soccer players being publicly executed in a showing of bad sportsmanship. There was little sign of the night's festivities remaining however. None of the party guests were around anymore, only Team Ember's snoring members and trash. Streamers hung from branches and confetti replaced grass in that area of the woods. It took Char entire minutes of analyzing the messy clearing for him to realize they had been deserted. Well how rude of Gold Division. The Charmander's senses came to full alert. _They had been deserted. _

"Guys! Guys! Wake up!" He hollered. Grudgingly the three other rebels opened their crust filled eyes still pink from lack of rest. "We've been left behind!" This got everyone springing to their feet, though Ray still stumbled.

"What!?" The Raichu screeched in disbelief. Char couldn't prevent himself from grimacing at his evolved friend. The poor creature had all of its head fur shaved off and dried manure stuck just above his lips.

"I said we've been left behind." Char repeated. Otto hopped up to his Team Leader rubbing his eyes with a single wing.

"I do not understand." He robotically stated. "Why would the entirety of the Gold Division abandon us?" The Pidgy took a single glance at Ray and ruffled his feathers. "I revoke my previous statement."

"What do we do now?" This came from Saura, the team's Bulbasaur. Barring Otto and their mission control (whom did not attend the party due to various complications), he was the most intelligent of the group, and would probably make a far superior leader to Char. But Char had the distinct advantage of at one time being a human being which automatically gave him increased leader priority. Saura didn't seem to mind this however; he was more than content just being able to call himself a rebel on the edge that plays by the rules.

"I-I don't know." Char answered already prepared to throw in the towel. If only Scythe was here to guide him with his deep strong voice, and muscular frame, and powerful wings, and sharp scythe arms, and his kissable lips, and his perfectly round posterior, and his oh so special-

"Sir." Otto interrupted. "I speculate the most effective course of action would be to turn one hundred ninety point two five one seven degrees counter-clockwise and maintain course until we reach the Division gate."

"Is it really a gate?" Saura asked. "I always saw it as a hidden crevice."

"Regardless, Otto is right." Char said. "We need to get back to the Gold Division before nightfall. I don't want to see another Watcher for a long time."

* * *

So the team hiked through Ambera back towards their base, crossing rivers, cliffs, and the occasional used car salesman—the Master's father was very firm in his desire to expand his business to the Pokémon market. By the time team Ember had finally reached the plains where the Gold Division entrance lay, the sun was already setting. There was not much time left until the hordes of eldritch abominations known as the Watchers would plague the skies in their seemingly infinite numbers. The ground beneath the team shook as it always did when visitors approached. Char found himself wondering how many girl scouts the resistance scared away with their automatic doorbell. Perhaps that was why the rebels could not have nice things. A quiet mumble of a voice emanated from seemingly nowhere at that moment.

"Lay low, wait and grow." It whispered. "Seeds of strength to reap and sew…"

Char was ready for this; all he had to do in order to be allowed entrance was to say the next part of the secret code. A secret code he and Saura went to great lengths to memorize. Determined he opened his mouth.

"…duh?" Char was dismayed to find no words released and his mind drawing a blank. What was the next part again? For the life of the Charmander he could not recall.

"Char? Is something wrong?" Saura asked his team leader in concern, whom shook his head in reply. He couldn't let the team know he couldn't remember the creed, he was the _leader_! He should know it by heart! Saura didn't look very convinced of Char's answer, but he didn't press further. "Well say the words. I need to use the little boy's room." Char gaped at his friend.

"Why didn't you go earlier?" He questioned. The Bulbasaur simply shrugged his front legs and said,

"I don't feel comfortable going in the grass. It makes me feel like a Wild. No offense Otto."

"I do not understand. Why would I take to the offensive at the Division headquarters when there are no hostiles?" The bird replied picking at his feathers.

"Nevermind." Saura said rolling his eyes. "Char, I don't remember this part of the creed. Can you please say it?"

Char twiddled his thumbs and looked over his team. Who would know the next part? Otto? "Otto, could you handle this one? I-um... want to test your knowledge of our security?" The Pidgey was not cooperative, however.

"Standard guidelines for resistance teams state that all team leaders should be able to recite the creed in its entirety without reliance on other members. Section five hundred ninety seven, article eleven bravo, verses two through eight. Book seventy three."

Crud. What about Ray? "Ray, could you-"

"I have a hangover." The Raichu used as an excuse. Char stroked his chin in concentration as he attempted to recall some part of the passphrase. 'Seeds of strength to reap and sew'… Was the next part, 'To boldly go, suck a chode, at the Alamo?' No, that couldn't be it. 'Covered in mold, yet colored gold, within the toad?' Char was getting nowhere fast.

"Char? Nightfall? Watchers?" Ray warned.

"Char? I really need to go!" Saura whined.

"Leader Charmanderous the First of Resistance Team Ember. I do not understand-"

"SHUT UP!" Char screamed at his team as tears rolled down his face. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" The entirety of Team Ember fell into shocked silence at Char's outburst, never before being treated so harshly by their leader. His words cut deep to them, as simple as they were. Did their leader no longer care about his team's needs?

Char himself was in his own spiral of pain. If only Scythe was still with them to help, then he never would have had trouble with the entrance, and would never have yelled at his team. Now they probably hated him, and it was all his fault. Scythe… why did he have to go? Yes, he did return to the base almost alarmingly quickly, but no longer did their mentor spend time with the young rebels. Deep within his heart, Char felt a tune begging to be released. Under his breath and with eyes clenched as tight as possible the human-turned-Pokemon muttered the first few moments of the song from his heart.

"I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

'Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone"

Something hit Char at that moment. Something it took him a few moments to place, but something more powerful than even The Call. Something called passion.

"These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase"

He thrust his eyes open and found himself standing atop a mountain. Across from him was another mountain mirroring his own, but more important to the Charmander was the green Pokémon atop that second mountain—Scythe. Words thick as honey oozed out of Char's mouth as he continued singing his song of passion, blocking out completely the true reality to substitute his own.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me"

Char had to pause when he heard the most beautiful voice accompany his own. Could it be? Was Scythe singing as well? No, the bladed Pokemon had its mouth closed. Char was the only singer, wasn't he?

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face – it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice – it chased away all the sanity in me"

Scythe was not singing with the Charmander. Scythe did not feel the same way he did. Call or not, Scythe did not have the heart to understand the torment he was causing Char. Scythe couldn't understand the love Char felt for the bug-type.

"These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me"

Still no movement came from Scythe. None. Hopelessness crept its way into Char's heart but he continued to sing.

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along"

Then Char saw a movement in his love's face. A movement so subtle the untrained eye would not spot, but Char did. Scythe's jaw began to open and close and as Char poured out his heart into music Scythe did indeed sing along. Char's heart leaped for joy at the accompaniment. Scythe _did_ care! Passion hit Char like a semi-truck on the highway for the song's remainder.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me!"

The imaginary world Char hid in faded away to the Gold Division's entrance in Ambera. Team Ember was silent, though Ray could be seen wiping tears from his eyes. A long moment of time passed until someone spoke; it was the gatekeeper.

"…That was beautiful. In all my years of guarding this entrance, my heart has never been more moved. Come on inside, please. I can't turn you away after that. I don't care if your Resistance or Adiel himself, you deserve entrance."

An opening underground appeared before Team Ember, accessing them entry into Gold Division. It had been a long day of walking for them, but it was finally over, and Char never felt more alive.

* * *

"Someone stole the Frozen Flame!" Char shouted in alarm upon reaching his chamber. In the place of Prince's gift was instead a note written in sloppy Footprint Rune. Saura, as concerned as his team leader, took the liberty of reading aloud for the entire team to hear.

"Dear Resistance Team Peanuts," Saura began. He sighed at the use of the team's original name. "We have your fire orb thingy. If you ever want to see it again, meet us in that one room with the giant statues. It's an auditorium right? We think so. It looks like one, at least. Anyways, we'll be there like, all day today. So hurry up and get your butts down here before we do all the drugs and are in no means to negotiate."

"I'm getting tired of Team X." Char declared burying his face into one of the natural torches inside his room. "Everyone, get your snarkiest comments ready. Our words will be as a thousand Hyper Beams to their bottoms."

Team Ember (minus Eva) rushed themselves to the location outlined, jumping over and sliding under the legs of various other rebels as they saw fit. Much of Gold Division was still burned out from the party, so everyone whom only semi-contributed to the war effort (which was an alarming percentage of the base. No wonder the war dragged on for so long when the majority of soldiers ran petty errands and never actually saw combat with the Master's forces) were in their quarters enjoying a little R&R. When Team Ember arrived at where they were needed, they did not see the members of Team X like they expected. Instead, the quad was baffled to discover the thieves were none other than Prince and Lilly! Saura, Char, and Ray dropped their ashamed gazes onto the floor beneath their feet. Char was about to ask just what the heck was going on, but Lilly beat him to the punch.

"_Team Ember_." She spoke the name with a hint of disgust. "As much as it pains me to say this, we need your help."

"Lilly, listen. About what happened-" Char said rubbing the back of his head.

"Save it." The Bayleef interrupted. "I believe you have heard of the Eon Fable? It was written by one dragon as his last words—a tribute to Cave Story, a testament of light and darkness. Interestingly enough, he wrote this inside the Gold Division many years ago when it was an academy. Understand that he died an autophobic Pokémon. So what was he doing here, in a place where many Pokémon gathered?"

"Gathering?" Saura guessed.

"Perhaps." Prince replied. "Or perhaps there is more to this base than meets the eye. Lilly and I speculate this base to hold Oren's Blade, the treasure of legend! We have used the fable as a guide to find the treasure, and it has lead us back here. This is the true reason we have returned to Gold Division." Lilly frowned.

"But we really _were_ kicked out of-"

"Shh! As I was explaining, we have followed the fable as a guide and it has lead us back here. This is where you come in. According to the fable, underneath this exact spot-" Prince tapped the floor for emphasis. "-is a secret tunnel leading to the burial place of Pokémon Champion Oren. We want your team to explore this tunnel and bring back whatever you find."

"Why us?" Char asks. "Why not ask Scythie-Wythie or his team? Or do it yourself?" Prince and Lilly stared at the Charmander for a handful of seconds. Then Prince dug his hands into the floor beneath him and pulled, revealing a cramped tunnel only the smallest of Pokémon could ever hope to fit into. "Oh. That explains a lot." The leader of Team Ember took a step back and called his friends over for a group-huddle. "What do you guys think?" Char whispered to his team.

"I think he's nuts. Are you sure that tunnel isn't for plumbing?" Saura whispered back.

"But this is Prince we are talking about! He's not crazy!" Ray chimed in. Otto was the next rebel to input his opinion.

"Logically, Prince and Lilly, banished from their previous assignments, have taken up the hobby of treasure hunting. The issue lies in their desperate need for a quest. This leads me to believe there is the ninety-nine percent probability the two are overanalyzing whichever works of literature they can find in the vain hopes of unearthing some hidden treasure map from where there is none."

"...What's the one percent?" Saura asked.

"They are correct."

"Good enough for me!" Ray exclaimed loud enough to be considered a shout.

* * *

Meanwhile in the headquarters of The Master, Adiel and other members of the oppressive government gathered in the War Room to discuss matters of… war.

"So in conclusion," The Scizor said as he circled a claw over a portion of a large map of Ambera which was taped to the wall. "This 'dead-zone' where all of our soldiers either cannot remember visiting or never return from, is very likely housing some sort of secret which would be in our best interests to attack. The science team has come to an agreement that there is an absurdly high possibility this area contains a resistance headquarters."

"I would not worry about that primitive rebel scum." A Flareon boasted. "Our superior forces can easily thwart anything they can ever hope to throw at us. No rush to look for them; let them come to us."

Adel banged his claws on the table. "This is no game, for the final time. You must not underestimate the power of the enemy. They possess… _assets _which hold the potential to turn the war in their favor."

This time it was a Gallade which scoffed. "_Please_, ever since A-"

"Don't say it." Adiel warned pointing menacingly.

"Ever since _you-know-who_ did _you-know-what_," The Gallade continued. "You have been so paranoid. Scratch that, I lied. Ever since your so called time-travel incident you've been paranoid—more so than usually."

"I am not paranoid! I am cautious!" Adiel clarified. Still, the Gallade was not swayed.

"Come now, what ever happened to the old Adel? The Adiel who would join us for a rousing Digimon marathon during our Labor Day soirée?"

"I never did that."

"Oh shut up, you wanker! You sicken me with your lack of common sense! Look at me!" Gallade shouted waving his arms around in a robotic fashion. "I'm a big strong bug-man with _red armor_! My camouflage for war is simply perfect! And who needs blades for arms when I can _pinch_ my enemy to death? I am _so_ glad I evolved unlike my smarter-if-not-traitorous clan mate Adron!" At that very moment Gallade's head was chopped clear off like a hedge clipper by Adiel's claws.

"As I was saying earlier," Adel spoke as if nothing had happened. "The resistance headquarters is predictably in the dead-zone. On the off chance it is not there, we are likely to find an even greater treasure to provide to The Master. If we stumble upon sealed evil in a can, we simply leave that can closed and evacuate from the area. Perhaps we can set up a barricade and warn the country what is there rather than keep it secret. This way everyone will know _why_ the area is sealed off, we receive credit for warning and defending the population, and in doing so gather more for our cause rather than provide reasons to join the resistance. Moving on."

* * *

"Char, this tunnel smells funny. And I'm running out of space to squeeze through." Ray whined as Team Ember continued to progress through the hidden depths of the Gold Division. Char lead the group on all four legs, as even with his small body the tunnel was simply too small to allowing standing room. Otto had already returned to Eva in the team's quarters due to the lack of flying space rendering him useless for the mission. Char sighed.

"Fine. Take five." He ordered. Squealing like a girl in excitement, Ray crawled backwards away from the only two Pokémon remaining. Char turned his head to his partner behind him. "How are you holding up, Saura?"

The Bulbasaur groaned and wiped a sludge coated stub on the tunnel walls. "This place is disgusting. How much longer until we get there?" Char tapped his chin in thought. How long _would_ it take? Prince never specified, so the Charmander was as lost as his ally.

"Couldn't say." Char replied after a handful of seconds. "Let's keep moving and hope for the best. Your bulb isn't causing any problems is it?"

"I'll manage."

The two best friends continued crawling in silence, until they discovered an empty chamber tall enough to stand in; a large cylindrical tube was positioned in its center. On said tube was a panel one could open and shut.

"Saura! Look!" Char exclaimed as he entered the room. "There's actually something here!"

"Well I'll be…" Saura murmured in disbelief. "What do you think it is?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe if we open it we can see." Char pulled open the panel with both hands, stunned to see two switches. One such switch was labeled 'elevation' and the other was labeled 'shielding'. Both were very tempting to pull.

"Are you going to pull them?" Saura asked.

"Heck yeah."

* * *

The Museum of World History—a fine building where Pokémon all over Ambera could view important relics from the past and learn their stories. There were many attractions on display: A rock from the first house, bones from the first sentient Kabutops, a maskless Cubone petrified in stone (its face was unfortunately not preserved), and even a picture frame of the Master's mother which survived the mysterious forest fire from twelve years ago. But the most priceless artifact the museum owned was the legendary Half-Life 3. There was only one version in existence, and thanks to a dimensional hole opened, the Museum of World History had it!

A Walrein lead the current tour of the museum, and was just about to show the guests the prized game. All he would have to do is flip the switch on the wall, and the steel shielding surrounding Half-Life's glass display would lower.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" The walrus dramatically called. "The time has come to present the single greatest thing our Museum has to offer! Not only evidence of life outside the Pokémon kingdom, but a damn fine doodad to play on the Master's personal computer as well! Don't tell him I did that! Behold!" The Walrein eagerly flipped the switch on the wall, and all the guests leaned forward to get a better view.

...

...

...

"Behold!" The Walrein flipped again, but the shielding would not fall. "Slight technical difficulties. Might have something to do with the override." The guide tapped his foot in agitation. "Let's try again, shall we? Behold!" At long last, the metal shields began their slow decent under the flooring. The water-and-ice type pulled himself into position just in front of the glass, with his back turned to what was inside. When the shields finally fell completely, the crowd predictably gasped. "Indeed. An amazing sight, isn't it? So small, so compact, yet so large and expansive as well. And to think it is right here in this museum! Why, absolutely astounding! Right here! Within rea-" The Walrein finally turned around with a long flipper raised to touch the glass to further illustrate his point. "Rea-within… Oh dear." Inside the glass tube resting on the red velvet pillow was absolutely nothing.

* * *

"What the heck is this?" Prince demanded holding the box. "Half-Life 3? With the ugliest excuse for an Infernape on the cover? Look at this! It doesn't even _look_ like one! What _is_ that thing!?" Char and Saura held their breath as Prince let out the rest of his anger. "I specifically asked for Dunkin Donuts! Not this filth!" In his rage Prince threw the box onto the ground and spewed searing fire at it.

"Prince. That was all the tunnel lead to." Char explained.

"I thought you wanted a blade." Saura added.

"Now I want both! Both of you to your rooms right now! And no supper! You're grounded for the rest of the night!"

The Charmander's and Bulbasaur's jaws dropped. "What!?" They shrieked in unison.

"No fair!" Complained Char.

"You can't do that!" Said Saura.

"That's totally FUBAR!" Char pointed out.

"We're not your kids and you're not Division Leader!" Saura explained.

"Hacks!" Char accused.

The bickering was interrupted as all the flames along the Division walls turned a sinister shade of black. A Gengar flew into the room through the walls, eyes wide and mouth agape in utter terror.

"It's terrible! Prince! You and Scythe have to save us! Something terrible happened!" The ghost wailed. Prince, ever the badass, slapped Gengar across the face John Wayne style.

"Get ahold of yourself, Eugene!" The Infernape demanded. "What happened?" Eugene bit through his hand in nervousness before he began his explanation.

"I was on my first day of gate duty, and a whole bunch of mean looking Pokémon came here wearing tinfoil hats! And when I recited part of the creed for the password entry, they started singing something else!"

"Well what did you do?"

"At first I wasn't going to do what the guard before me did, 'cause that got him fired!" Eugene assured. Saura and Char looked away. "But then a Scizor started singing about how I reminded him of the babe, and I asked 'what babe?', and he said it was 'the babe with the power', and I asked 'what power?', and he said 'the power of voodoo', and I asked 'Who do?', and he said that I did, and I asked what I did, and he said I reminded him of the babe again, and then-then-then-then he started dancing and singing about magic and it was so sexy and I just couldn't-"

"Couldn't what?" Infernape pressed, interrupting the worst run-on sentence in the story (probably). "I ask you again. What did you do!?"

"I let them all in! I'm sorry!"

Everyone paused a moment to let the information sink in.

"Adele is in the base!" Someone yelled from another room. "Adele is in the base! I mean Adiel! Adiel! Not Adele! Adi-OH GAWD! THAT'S MY LIVER!"

"I feel like someone in Missouri is furious right now." Char commented.

* * *

The next day an official report was filed that there was a fire underneath Ambera. Despite the best efforts of the Master's forces, no bodies could be recovered in one piece. And Giratina, well, let's just say Giratina suffered the worst standing up a legendary Pokémon would _ever_ go through. The moral of this story is to… ehm… I'll get back to you on that one, my dear readers.

* * *

_And that's a wrap. This thing has a bit of a story behind it. Originally it was just the first paragraph, and I was going to include it in a story as the most obvious shout-out this side of the Rio Grande. But then I started on the second paragraph and just had so much fun that I couldn't help myself in continuing. I planned to put it up in celebration of ScytheRider reaching the goal in some contest thing he was in, but I felt the story wasn't enough yet. Then I was going to make it a Christmas gift, but thanks to some circumstances out of my control I couldn't finish it. Char and Saura were still crawling around underneath the Gold Division when that deadline passed. I thought about tossing the story out after that, but instead decided to just go ahead and find a way to end this. Needless to say, it received a rather… dark finale._

_Despite many of the obvious jabs I take at Silver Resistance, know that I still love the story. It may not be perfect, but what is? Scythe, you are an awesome fellow, an amazing author, and you have a fantastic piece of fanfiction in your possession. Which is especially impressive considering the stigma._

_Happy New Year, everyone!_


End file.
